9/6 update- a setback

Two weeks ago, my incision opened up. My surgeon said it would probably close up on its own if I took antibiotics and put an antibiotic cream on it. It has cleared up the beginning of infection, and none has started. The opening has gotten a bit smaller, but it isn't closed up.

As of right now, my plastic surgeon said he wants it to close on its own, but if it's not there (or pretty much there) next week, he'll remove the affected area and stitch it up to form a new incision line (all under local anesthetic). So I'm hoping for it to clear on its own!!

If you want to see the pictures, click here. I'm not sure why they look so red (bathroom lighting, I guess), but my tummy is not red. It looks like normal skin. The incision line looks like it has a bruise over it, and then there's the opening.

8/1 update (day 19)

My tape allergy is healing, but still sore. I'm feeling better most of the time, but have days where I can barely get out of bed due to exhaustion. Luckily, I still have a couple more weeks to recover before school starts, so I'm taking advantage of the time I've got. I'm going to put up today's picture and link it here.

My muscles hurt if I cough, laugh, or sneeze, but are okay other than that. It feels really tight if I try to stand straight, so I'm hunched over quite a bit (supposed to do that while healing anyway).

Overall, doing well!

No more stitches, staples, or bandages!

I got all stitches and staples out today! Yay! Every day gets a little easier, but my surgeon wants me to continue taking it easy. I know he's right. I only have one chance at recovering correctly and easily. While I'm healing outside, the inside needs to heal up, and that will take a while.

I had an allergic reaction to the paper tape used to keep my bandages in place, so I've got a rash and some blister-like bumps wherever the tape has been in the last couple of days. That's more painful than the incision and muscles now. I think it will clear up now that there's no need for bandages.

I need to start my scar therapy now since the incision is completely closed up. I've been looking forward to this part for some reason! Being very fair skinned, I tend to scar easily. I see this as a challenge to see how good I can make the scar look, though it doesn't matter much since I'm not prancing around in bikinis or anything.

So initial recovery is done, and I'm onto part two. This will be a long phase, but I'm so glad to be here.

I am thrilled that I finally had the surgery done. I'm so glad my husband finally convinced me to do this for myself. I never would have done it without his support.

Not my best

Today was, with the exception of the first day or so, my most frustrating, ugly day. I still have no regrets, but my stomach is more bruised and swollen than it has been, and it took me by surprise. I bruise easily and they tend to last forever, so it shouldn't be a shocker for me. The swelling is probably due to having my drain out a couple days ago, but it was startling to see myself in the mirror. I won't lie- it was depressing. And I knew to expect this, but it's hard to see myself looking worse instead of better.

This is not an overnight or even quick process. Six months from now I will be better, but still dealing with swelling. And so, this is where I remind myself that this is MAJOR surgery! It has only been a week!!

It sounds good in my head, but I can't help the discouragement in my heart.
Click here to see today's picture. Be warned, it's not pretty.

To tell or not to tell?

I am a member of a plastic surgery forum, and a question was asked about who knows what you're really doing? What do people think you're doing? Who knows the truth?

Initially, I was somewhat private about my surgery. I say somewhat because if you know me, I am private, but when I'm excited about something, you'll know about it. But now I just don't care. I even posted on Facebook about my surgery, which I wasn't going to do. But I figured why be secretive? Even if this was completely cosmetic, should I be embarrassed about it? Is it gauche because of the money? Is it shameful to want to look better and have the mirror closer resemble the way I feel about myself? Now, if someone else has surgery and doesn't want people to know, I will not judge them for that, but I have decided that my body isn't shameful. My stomach issues are a product of high risk pregnancies that I desperately wanted (obviously not the high risk part) and resulted in my children.

So I'm going through this as an open book. My body was messed up. Big time. It was more than what I was comfortable living with, so I fixed it. I suppose people may judge. I judge all the time, so it's only fair. I hope that I'm surrounded by mostly supportive people, but everyone is entitled to their feelings. Perhaps it seems selfish or wasteful. But I am going to put this experience out there in case someone else needs it. I spent 13 years wanting this, but thinking it was too much, how could I justify it? There's probably someone in my life feeling the same. So maybe my experience will help, and that is why I'm not hiding it!

I have gotten nothing but support, so I believe I really have surrounded myself with people that are awesome, or they're just really quiet. Regardless, I know that I made the right decision and regret nothing!

Much love to you all!!

7/16- thank goodness for clean hair!

So I got to shower today! I feel much better (and the dogs are probably grateful that I don't stink like total crap), but the process itself wasn't fun. It doesn't feel good to lose the support of the binder, and though my skins numb, I do feel stinging sensations when the bandages are off. I got to see my tummy in the mirror- completely flat! It looked amazing! My belly button is very swollen, but I expected that because that area hurts the most. My doctor did something different from other pictures I've seen- the sutures are folded into my body instead of seeing them all in a line on the outside. That is great because it will leave better scars.

I'm feeling much better, but I'm afraid I overdid it last night because I was feeling so good. So today I have been an in bed all day again. I need to slow down and heal properly. Easier said than done. I seriously lack patience, but this is a long process and I need to let it happen.

I was going to take pictures today, but I really needed to get my bandages and binder back on, so I'll take some tomorrow. I'm impressed with the results already, and this is only the beginning!

7/15- a very painful birthday indeed!

2 days out from my full abdominoplasty. Let me give some background information:
The reason for wanting to do this surgery stemmed from my pregnancies. With Kristen, I had a condition called polyhydramnios, where I had way too much amniotic fluid. Because of this, I was so stretched out that my body couldn't ever go back to any semblance of normal. Beyond that, my muscles ripped apart, leaving a 3-4" gap between them. This turn caused back pain because i couldn't properly support myself, no matter what exercises I tried. I also looked pregnant every single day, regardless of what I weighed. Overall, it was just a nightmare. Yes, some of it is cosmetic, but not all of it. Unfortunately, insurance companies don't agree, and it's strictly cosmetic in their eyes.

I put off getting my tummy tuck for years because I just couldn't justify spending this kind of money on myself. Finally, though, the pain got to be too much and I decided to go for it.

My plastic surgeon removed all of the skin from my belly button down and sewed the muscles back together. I haven't seen my stomach yet, but mike did, and he said it looks really good already.

The pain feels like bee stings going down my muscles. I can feel each area that he sewed. The incision itself doesn't hurt much, but my muscles hurt so bad! You use your abs a lot more than you think you do! I'm mostly laying in bed all day because sitting up makes me dizzy. I can't stand straight because it's so tightly pulled. I did finally get up by myself to use the bathroom today. Drinking all if these fluids makes that unpleasant trip a very frequent one! But it was nice to finally go alone.

I'm taking vicodin, so don't judge this post or my spelling!
I'll have mike take pictures or video or something soon and put it on here later.

Oh, and today is my birthday! This was the best present ever, even with all the pain I'm in. A very memorable one, that's for sure!